Week 18: 25,444 Miles Roundtrip
25444 miles, 128 days, 15 cities, 8 countries, 2 continents, and 1 semester later. I'm back.
While my last few days in Istanbul were beautifully surreal--exploring the nooks of the city I hadn't made it around to, revisiting favorite spots, and relishing the chaotic peace from greater heights--I was more surprised at how I felt when I got off the plane at Hartsfield-Jackson. I walked out of baggage claims to the loving arms of my entourage (shout out to my amazing friends, Jane & Mads, and also Kirsten & Maya for coming to the airport but having to leave before I made it out of passport control). But it didn't feel like it had been almost five months since I said goodbye to them on Georgia Tech's campus.
It's been almost a month, and I still haven't been able to shake the feeling that this past semester was a dream. It isn't until I see a friend from Bogazici post on Facebook or an old picture on Instagram, that I remember I was there--that actually happened. I am sure that when we get back to campus in the fall and I am surrounded with people once again, that the Turkey stories will endlessly flow out of my mouth and people will want to throw large objects at me to make me stop. But until then, when people ask me how it was or what it was like all I've been able to say is "It was great, but I'm glad to be home." And it was great and I am glad to be home. But I know that it was also so much more.
I have written about it before, but since before I even came to college I had this romantic idea in my head that I would study abroad and it would be life-changing. I had this notion that there would be a beautiful, unforgettable, picturesque moment where I would reach the highest state of enlightenment and suddenly know. I would reach this state of self-acceptance after endless weeks of traveling and self-discovery. In reality, I travelled. I discovered a lot. But life just doesn't usually work out in this romantic way I pictured (probably very heavily influenced by books and movies).
I remember first feeling resentful towards all the people who told me studying abroad would change my life. I thought "Nothing's changed! I still feel the exact same!" But I do not think that's exactly true. Instead of that singular moment of enlightenment, these life-changing moments happen in phases. They're just that--moments. Usually small ones, and they may or may not add up to something more. I think the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around though was that it isn't completely tangible. Because there isn't that singular, describable moment, it almost feels like it doesn't even exist. But it is still there. What's that quote from the Nicholas Sparks book? "Our love is like the wind, you can't see it but you sure can feel it." Well, that's what the self-discovery and growth from studying abroad are for me. I can't see it, I can't describe it, but I know it's there and I can feel it.
There are many simple lessons I have learned--how to navigate cities, how to pay the check at restaurants around the world, and more--that I can remember learning and I know will help me on a regular basis. But there are even more that I don't think about every day, but when the time comes and I am in a pinch, I will know what to do because of the time the world taught it to me.
There is one lesson though that I think will continue to have a very conscious impact on my life. When I first left in January, I was hesitant because of all the great relationships I began to develop with friends in the fall. I didn't want to miss their graduations, their engagements, the rest of their first year in college. I wanted to continue developing those friendships, but I was also extremely excited to form some new, global ones. I feel fortunate that I was able to do both. But while it is an extreme privilege and honor to meet students and people from all over the world while studying abroad and traveling, I have realized that it is a divine blessing to have friends, family, and friends who are basically family back home. The saying that you don't know what you have until it's gone is a cliche for a reason. It rings truer than that the sky is blue. Studying abroad teaches you not only about yourself, but about your relationships back home. I am incredibly fortunate and graced to have been able to come home to such an amazing group that supports my adventures abroad and my endeavors at home. But after 18 weeks, I've learned that not every adventure requires a passport or exploring a new city alone. Granted those experiences, the experiences I've had over the past five months, are special in their own way. But I'm ready for some hometown adventures with the people I love.
While my last few days in Istanbul were beautifully surreal--exploring the nooks of the city I hadn't made it around to, revisiting favorite spots, and relishing the chaotic peace from greater heights--I was more surprised at how I felt when I got off the plane at Hartsfield-Jackson. I walked out of baggage claims to the loving arms of my entourage (shout out to my amazing friends, Jane & Mads, and also Kirsten & Maya for coming to the airport but having to leave before I made it out of passport control). But it didn't feel like it had been almost five months since I said goodbye to them on Georgia Tech's campus.
I have written about it before, but since before I even came to college I had this romantic idea in my head that I would study abroad and it would be life-changing. I had this notion that there would be a beautiful, unforgettable, picturesque moment where I would reach the highest state of enlightenment and suddenly know. I would reach this state of self-acceptance after endless weeks of traveling and self-discovery. In reality, I travelled. I discovered a lot. But life just doesn't usually work out in this romantic way I pictured (probably very heavily influenced by books and movies).
I remember first feeling resentful towards all the people who told me studying abroad would change my life. I thought "Nothing's changed! I still feel the exact same!" But I do not think that's exactly true. Instead of that singular moment of enlightenment, these life-changing moments happen in phases. They're just that--moments. Usually small ones, and they may or may not add up to something more. I think the hardest thing for me to wrap my head around though was that it isn't completely tangible. Because there isn't that singular, describable moment, it almost feels like it doesn't even exist. But it is still there. What's that quote from the Nicholas Sparks book? "Our love is like the wind, you can't see it but you sure can feel it." Well, that's what the self-discovery and growth from studying abroad are for me. I can't see it, I can't describe it, but I know it's there and I can feel it.
There are many simple lessons I have learned--how to navigate cities, how to pay the check at restaurants around the world, and more--that I can remember learning and I know will help me on a regular basis. But there are even more that I don't think about every day, but when the time comes and I am in a pinch, I will know what to do because of the time the world taught it to me.
There is one lesson though that I think will continue to have a very conscious impact on my life. When I first left in January, I was hesitant because of all the great relationships I began to develop with friends in the fall. I didn't want to miss their graduations, their engagements, the rest of their first year in college. I wanted to continue developing those friendships, but I was also extremely excited to form some new, global ones. I feel fortunate that I was able to do both. But while it is an extreme privilege and honor to meet students and people from all over the world while studying abroad and traveling, I have realized that it is a divine blessing to have friends, family, and friends who are basically family back home. The saying that you don't know what you have until it's gone is a cliche for a reason. It rings truer than that the sky is blue. Studying abroad teaches you not only about yourself, but about your relationships back home. I am incredibly fortunate and graced to have been able to come home to such an amazing group that supports my adventures abroad and my endeavors at home. But after 18 weeks, I've learned that not every adventure requires a passport or exploring a new city alone. Granted those experiences, the experiences I've had over the past five months, are special in their own way. But I'm ready for some hometown adventures with the people I love.
See ya soon, Istanbul. Love you long time.
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