Getting Schooled
Holy cow.
I am so far out of my comfort zone, I do not even know what zip code I'm in.
I have never felt as inadequate as I have this past week in London.
Which is really saying something considering many of us who spend any time at Georgia Tech are very familiar with feeling like everyone around you is a hundred times more intelligent, talented, and capable than you.
But as we've begun to delve into actual content in my courses at the RVC and LSHTM this week, I suddenly realize that I know very, very little. To be fair, I strongly believe the adage "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" but right now I'm not even sure how I got into this room.
I have never had to simultaneously Google the definitions of simple terms while the professor is speaking as much as I did in lecture today. I have never felt like truly the weakest link in a group discussion or assignment until today. And I've never had to ask for as much clarification as I have in the past week.
On the one hand, I am incredibly proud of my policy background and still think it is vital for an interdisciplinary understanding of public health. On the other, I am thinking the studies and research my peers have completed will make them more successful and impactful in the field.
Why am I saying all these terribly negative things?
Because my biggest fears in the world are rejection and failure and despite this, the new and different situation I currently sit in is challenging me in ways I did not expect and showing me a completely different side of myself. And because the world would be a much better place if we were all committed to this type of honesty. To not be afraid to admit when we are scared or struggling. To be vulnerable with just one person so they feel they can be vulnerable with you too.
I read this quote on Matthew Trinetti's blog the other day and it reinvigorated me.“Rise the rest of your life to meet you.” There are 96 days left of 2017. That means 96 more days to get back to those New Year's Resolutions or to set some completely different goals. That's 96 more days to meet new people, to learn new things, to read new books. That's 96 more days to ask questions. (That's 96 days until I go to Paris for NYE!) With how much has happened in the past 269 days, I'm not discounting these 96 at all. I started off the year with a goal to read 52 books and honestly, I'm probably not going to achieve that. But in the past two days I have: gone for a run, asked a question in a crowded public lecture about infectious diseases, and talked to the strangers next to me in line at Nando's -- all things that may not seem significant, but are inherent proof that life won't always take you where you expect. Every day is a new adventure, an opportunity to do something different, a crossroads to take a risk. And I look forward to continuing to meet (and be surprised by) me.
I am so far out of my comfort zone, I do not even know what zip code I'm in.
I have never felt as inadequate as I have this past week in London.
Which is really saying something considering many of us who spend any time at Georgia Tech are very familiar with feeling like everyone around you is a hundred times more intelligent, talented, and capable than you.
But as we've begun to delve into actual content in my courses at the RVC and LSHTM this week, I suddenly realize that I know very, very little. To be fair, I strongly believe the adage "If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room" but right now I'm not even sure how I got into this room.
I have never had to simultaneously Google the definitions of simple terms while the professor is speaking as much as I did in lecture today. I have never felt like truly the weakest link in a group discussion or assignment until today. And I've never had to ask for as much clarification as I have in the past week.
On the one hand, I am incredibly proud of my policy background and still think it is vital for an interdisciplinary understanding of public health. On the other, I am thinking the studies and research my peers have completed will make them more successful and impactful in the field.
Why am I saying all these terribly negative things?
Because my biggest fears in the world are rejection and failure and despite this, the new and different situation I currently sit in is challenging me in ways I did not expect and showing me a completely different side of myself. And because the world would be a much better place if we were all committed to this type of honesty. To not be afraid to admit when we are scared or struggling. To be vulnerable with just one person so they feel they can be vulnerable with you too.
I read this quote on Matthew Trinetti's blog the other day and it reinvigorated me.“Rise the rest of your life to meet you.” There are 96 days left of 2017. That means 96 more days to get back to those New Year's Resolutions or to set some completely different goals. That's 96 more days to meet new people, to learn new things, to read new books. That's 96 more days to ask questions. (That's 96 days until I go to Paris for NYE!) With how much has happened in the past 269 days, I'm not discounting these 96 at all. I started off the year with a goal to read 52 books and honestly, I'm probably not going to achieve that. But in the past two days I have: gone for a run, asked a question in a crowded public lecture about infectious diseases, and talked to the strangers next to me in line at Nando's -- all things that may not seem significant, but are inherent proof that life won't always take you where you expect. Every day is a new adventure, an opportunity to do something different, a crossroads to take a risk. And I look forward to continuing to meet (and be surprised by) me.
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| Seven Sisters Cliffs (between Brighton & Eastbourne, England) subpar picture credit: Garrett Dowd |
You're completely right about not being the "smartest person in the room" comment, I feel the same way. :) Love reading your posts, this Fulbright blog trend is a lot of fun :)
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