Losing Sucks, Right?

Unless you are absolutely uninterested in the world and accomplishments, especially your own, you know that losing sucks. It just does. And it can be really bad. When there's something you want, more than anything else in the world. It's absolutely horrible and painful to see it taken away from you. To see it given to someone else. To see that someone else has beaten you to it. Because when you lose, it's about YOU. You probably screwed up somewhere along the way. There's something about you that just isn't good enough. (I know, this is SO inspiring. But stay with me, I have a point). Anyway, that other person is better than you in some way. But what is it? Why aren't you good enough? Because I think you're pretty darn amazing (ignore how lame that looks).

Well, the good thing about losing is that it helps us answer that question: "Why aren't you good enough?" Of course, the answer isn't just handed to us on a silver platter. We have to work for it. We have to delve into our minds, our characteristics, our skills. That's the only way to be able to tell what we're missing. Take a complete inventory and see what it is you need. The one good thing about losing is that it helps us grow. Grow stronger. Grow better. It improves us. Even though it kinda sucks the way it does that. But think about it, if you won every single thing you did, you would never change? And then when you finally get that loss, it will REALLY hurt. Better to endure small losses rather than one huge one, right? Take me for example, I am very used to doing well in almost everything I do. (And I hate when I don't). And I'm so used to winning everything that has to do with one of my skills, in this particular case, writing. I was confident, but it turned out that I wasn't ready. I'm absolutely devastated, but at the same time I'm grateful to find out how I'm seen before I waste even more time on this and miss out on other opportunities. Everything happens for a reason, including sucky things.

So I know usually I have this little schpiel at the end because I like to force you into reading my poem (just kidding!) but I figured this poem that I am about to share may have been taken the wrong way if I didn't explain first. So anyway, this is a poem I wrote earlier today when I wanted to explode. Here ya go :]

Disappointment

Despair,

Grief,

Self-pity…

Flooding in

With no relief.

Just a crash,

From above.

That heavy weight once sitting on your shoulders,

Now gone.

That churning stomach that couldn’t be appeased,

That heart that could win any NASCAR race,

All of it.

Every feeling

Exploded,

Gone,

Numb.

Everything is numb.

Replace the sweaty palms, beating heart

With red eyes and purple noses.

Salty tears falling down,

Hundreds of embraces trying to appease.

But none do.

Breathing begins to hurt.

You can’t catch your breath,

Can’t say a word

Without the fear of a second deluge.

But even when it’s over,

There’s a mark—

Streams of discoloration grace your face,

An obvious sign to all who see you.

They know.

You know they know.

But there are some things they don’t know,

Some things they can’t see.

A second mark,

Permanent,

That changes you,

Helps you,

Betters you—

Giving you a better understanding,

Enlightenment.

And after the despair,

Grief,

And self-pity,

You are reborn.

With more passion.

More fire.

To go on

And succeed.

Like a phoenix reborn

From the dying ashes,

Ready and fearless

To take on

What’s next.

Hope you enjoyed :]